Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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