This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Randomize
