Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
