he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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