i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
