Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
