D3 body, D1 cock
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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