Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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