if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
