I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
