In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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