Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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