her vagine was all disorganized.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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