Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
