Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
