He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
