I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize