You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
