she looked like the before picture.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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