I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
