the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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