Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
