This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
