do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
