That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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