I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
