I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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