Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
