Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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