my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
