were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
