Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
