SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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