also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Randomize
