Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
