Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
These tits shall not be calmed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
