I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
