i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize