____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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