I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
