i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
