im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
