So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
