Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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