At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Never underestimate the power of titties
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