I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
