As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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