We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
