i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
