the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
