I should be sponsored by Trojan
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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