he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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