One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
