I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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