Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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