could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
