So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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