We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
