i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can I color on your dick again?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
