it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
