Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
