I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
