I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sober January is a disaster.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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